I
have an obsessive, recurring dream of loosing a tooth or several, swallowing
it/them, and lots of light…And in the dream, it hurts excruciatingly as if in
reality; or maybe the hurt is manifested in anxiety over the loss, the pain, or
the feeling of responsibility for the loss…The pain and loss are the symbolic
value I have attached to the interpretation of this lingering feeling in the
material form of the dream, even accounting for the agony I sleep through and
awaken with.
The
state of anxiety, agony, pain has been experienced, even exaggerated in such
graphic ways – breaking, pulling, followed by swallowing and wailing – in the dream that persists while living in New York City over the past few years, than loosing a fourth of a tooth in reality while living in Cairo at the age of eight…Running through piles of backpacks left in
front of my school church at Wednesday mass, annoyed by the secrecy of the mass
and its restriction only to Christian students, I kept peeping into the church
entrance…When caught (by the soeur[1]),
I pretended to be chasing a friend around the churchyard, erasing any symptoms
of being seduced by the foreclosure of the church and its ritual…As I tripped
over a backpack arm, I fell to the ground and chipped a front tooth…At that
point I felt (saw) the pain of my bleeding knee from the fall; only then
realizing that something happened inside my mouth through the horrified
expression on my older sister’s face and the placement of her hand on mouth…I
felt around my lips and mouth for blood, finding none, instead feeling the
sharpness of a jagged edge of a tooth…In horror, I ran to the bathroom staring
in the mirror at this gapping hole in my set of pearly whites.
Since
then, I have taken pride (and my sweet time) in obsessive cleaning habits, expecting nothing short of pure whiteness – bright
as the sun…But in the dream, sunlight hurts: the sight and physicality of the
feeling of breaking my teeth, loosing, and swallowing is insurmountable…In
fact, I wake up feeling for my teeth, and squinting from that blinding
near-white brightness that shakes me out of the physical reflexes of the dream.
What
is the relationship between dreamtime and real time? Is a dream state the
period (and arena) where excessive thoughts and energy are expended? If
dreaming can be considered an unproductive activity in a space where the
exertion of energy is unquantifiable, then it seems the general allocation of
my daily energy must be leaving a remainder to be expended elsewhere. But what
does this elsewhere allow for, and how does it acquire an unquantifiable, even
unprofitable quality? Calling it a constructed space of imagination gives it
fixity, and puts too much of its possibility in the conscious hands of the dreamer. Perhaps it is the excessive time-space
that houses extra thought, experience, even (re)interpretation, or the
obsessive and unresolved residue of the excess of everyday life.
Freud’s
“pleasure principle” contradictorily tells us that there is no such thing as
enough; that there is a built in need for excess; a flaming flamboyance
exaggerating utility, necessity, and acquisition. For Freud, expenditure is a
discharge of sexual energy, a closed system of economics (Brown, Dionysus in 1990 183). Does this sexual
energy create a hierarchical split between desire in the mind and discharge of
the body? And what is a temporality that is of the body and not of the mind? It
might help here if I revisit the breakdown of some traditional categories of
interpretation: for animals (monkeys and gorillas), showing teeth is a sign of
aggression; for humans showing teeth while smiling is a sign of pleasantry,
submission, conformity. Both are somehow reflected in the dream, and the
feelings and energy attached in vividly experiencing it; but neither accounts
for its time-space or unproductive capacity to exert such energy, nor what
makes the two excessive.
To explore
the potentiality of dreamtime, I would like to turn to Evans-Pritchard’s
distinction between “oecological time” and “structural time:” the former
represents people’s (specifically, Nuer’s) relationship to their environment;
the latter reflects their relationship to one another in the “social structure”
(Evans-Pritchard, Nuer Time-Reckoning
189). Now, I would like to apply this breakdown in time-values to the type of
activity taking place in the dream state: I can exert energy to run and (unintentionally) break a tooth, which
becomes the residue-base for the (intentional)
breaking, swallowing, and mourning of (losing)
my teeth in a dream. Here, the (failed) attempt to apply this distinction in time-values shows that the concepts of oecological
and structural time do not square themselves onto real time and dreamtime. I believe one reason for this to be that the material and symbolic activity as well as
time in both states is difficult to parcel out let alone measure.
Can
the energy expensed by a dreamer be only an unproductive product made up of
processed thought, regurgitated experience, or reconfigured possibility? Here,
product seems to fall back into the closed cycle of a productive economy, and
not the realm of consumption where a dream can be a possible stowage for the
excessive. But is consumption – of thought, of time, of action – a form of
reception whereby one looses in receiving, or gives up to get back? Here, the
exchange is one of power; power then figures as the ability to loose as much as
gain, the imposition of giving through return, which can create rivalry in the
form of exchange.
If
unproductive activity in dreamtime is the need to exceed the closedness of
production time, then consumption comes to serve a creative form of
destruction. Is creative potentiality or expenditure then the ridding of what
has been acquired through consumption of thought and experience? But how does
that account for excess in dreamtime without repeating the closedness or
polarity of the production cycle? And can a sleep state that contains dreamtime
still be considered part of real time? Finally, on the terms of loss, does not
something stand in residue, like the creative energy or compulsion in
destruction? And since there is no definition of what is of use value to
individuals, is the end of production through the modes of consumption then the
end of utility?
The
idea of loss or (the ridding of material habit in an immaterial state) seems to best ground what
an excessive time-space can do in stripping production out of an activity to
yield its meaning beyond the latter’s closed system. But if meaning in (the
exchanges of) our waking is always in surplus, then its residue must somehow
seep into our sleep. Does the spectacle in the dream – or the spectatorship of it
upon waking, possibly recollection – extract or abstract meaning from the
everyday? Does it come to stand for a symbolic expenditure, whereby thoughts,
experiences, and articulations are propelled by an unproductive energy to
shatter their prior meanings, to manipulate their time and use values through
an entirely obsolete and profitless exertion? Here, the stuff of everyday life
– acquired and accumulated in waking – can be unmade, repeated, or remade in
the dream state. Whatever the creative form, I find that in order for it to be
expended, this leftover symbolic energy destroys, thereby retracting itself
from the cycle of material value; making any of its resonating sensorial
qualities (in sleep or waking) residual.
If sleep
is a transgressive break with or suspension of the time of being awake, what is
the connection between structural time and oecological time, (of action and
imagination) more? Does dreamtime become an expended state of symbolic anxiety
over the material world? In taking excess, and dispensing it into a time-space
that enables energy to hover without ever reaching an end product, dreams can
be understood to turn the stuff of everyday life into the stuff of imagination.
The power to destroy, to loose, to give up becomes generative. But of what? Of
an unproductive experience, or time-space that transform our own sense of
temporality, creating a slippage between dreamtime and real time? Something
else lies at (even breaks) the seams of sleep and waking: if sleep can be read
as a desire to rest from, suspend, or undo the material value of waking, then
one must exist on the premise of the other’s destruction. Without running a
distinct line between material and symbolic values of time, I would like to
speculate that the toing and froing between the state of sleeping and waking is
a form of exchange. What does the sleep state accomplish by outdoing the
material value of waking through its suspension, or replacement by the
symbolic? Perhaps the dream state allows for a time-space where destructive and
creative power can be attained, dispensed, even vanquished by waking without
the loss lending itself to only symbolizing
the dynamism of material production.
I do
not think that consumption – of a destructive power or residue of material
value – in giving up or breaking habit leads to a halting of time, but its
transport. If consuming time in waking leads to its expenditure in sleep, then excess
becomes a core instance of imagination. And something about consumption in the
dream state comes to resemble a spiritual activity, or a consummation of spirit
whereby the lines between mind and body, conscious and unconscious are
untraceable. Is time in excess then the liminal state between waking and sleep,
the powers conveyed between the two, or the dream itself? When dreaming, I
consider the energy exerted to be lingering in a space impregnated with
possibility over which I have no control or will to produce. And the
unproductive activity seems to designate the dream as one instance of it. But
what does it mean to do things in dreams? And what does that allow in terms of
understanding (and valuing) energy, self, and the time-space between waking,
sleeping, and awakening?
1. Bataille, Georges. 1985. "The Notion of Expenditure," in Visions
of Excess: Selected Writings,
1927-1939, ed. and trans. by Allan Stoekl. Minneapolis: University of
Minnesota Press.
2. Brown, Norman O. 1992. Dionysus
in 1990.
3. Evans-Pritchard, E. E. 1939. "Nuer Time-Reckoning," in Africa: Journal of the International African Institute. Vol. 12(2): 189-216.
[1] Mine was a Franciscan all girls’ Catholic school
administered by nuns – soeurs. The
English equivalent – sister – is still strange to me, given the familiarity and
intimacy of the term soeur.
1 comment:
Body and mind, materialized reality and symbolic imagination? What is the temporality going back and forth between these “stats of nature?” This kind of metaphysical/philosophical question keeps wandering in my mind when reading this blog. Is body and mind really constituted a whole, as an entity, as equilibrium of energy? Or the material and the symbolic are just two interacting systems? Therefore, the temporality and the spatiality are independent as well as inter-connected? If so, are we going to have more than one agent in ourselves? Perhaps, body, the material object, may also contain a “consciousness” and being “agentive?”
It is a way to think body and mind as a totality and thus we have a completed whole of energy production and consumption/destruction. Therefore, as Menna said, we might imagine “…Perhaps it is the excessive time-space that houses extra thought, experience, even (re)interpretation, or the obsessive and unresolved residue of the excess of everyday life…” I think it is a really refreshing way of thinking. Also, she denoted the superimposed “consciousness” upon the “unconscious” “dreaming,” “…Calling it a constructed space of imagination gives it fixity, and puts too much of its possibility in the conscious hands of the dreamer…” Here it seems Menna tries to deconstruct the “structured” understanding of “dreaming” and to point out the distinctive time-space residing in the realm of “dreaming.” And I think this kind of deconstruction is key to understand the distinctiveness of “structuralist time” as a sort of “collective representation.” It is to construct a certain type of epistemology and building certain concepts and frameworks of thinking.
On the other side, I cannot help but thinking what about if mind and body are two entangled spiraling systems, just like the way that chromosome is structured. Hence, we see how dream may be derived from the “material residue” and become a place for expressing the excess of energy. Meanwhile, the separatedness of these two system (body and mind, material and the symboli) may actually provide an explanation for the now-and-then feeling of breakdown, discontinuity, or even extraction from reality.
Dreaming is a fascinating “supernatural” (allow me to use the word “supernatural,” I just feel when we are dreaming, we are entering a different stage of living) sphere. When we are dreaming, are we turned into the mode of the “unconscious self” and feel more in the temporality of “the symbolic?”
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